Questioning whether I am doing the right thing!!!

So lately I have been doubting myself whether training for this Iron distance race is the right thing to do. Is timing perfect? My son was diagnosed with ADHD several years ago. As he ages I am finding out more and more about the disability and the issues that come with it. Lately he has been showing some increased sensitivity and just more behavioral issues. Things that cause some pretty big melt downs and leave me an emotional mess trying to figure out how to help him. I have been feeling guilty although I try to get most of my workouts done early in the a.m. to leave time for family at night. But still who wouldn’t feel guilty. I ask myself is this selfish is it the right thing to do. Most of you are probably saying yes!  

It takes a toll on the family and on you mentally to have a child with any disability. I know of many family and friends who deal with it daily and most cases are far worse than mine, so I am not here to to compare but it is hard. I think I cope is through exercise. The training breaths new life in me and helps me work with my son through his difficult times. I work hard at what I do to be a better mom and wife. Being healthier through mind and body is part of what keeps me mentally prepared for what is next and feeds my fire to assist my son in being the best boy he can be and advocate for his needs. So as I was about it give up last night I sat him down to see what made the most sense for the family. Since this is not just about me.

Last night I sat down with my husband and talked to him about it. I told him “you say the word and I am done training there are always other years”. Training takes a ton of time and energy and it is not fair to my husband or son if the timing is wrong. We talked a lot and he said to me “is the timing ever going to be good”. There is always life that gets in the way. He also told me he has been so proud of me getting my workouts in early and having time at night for the family, and as for the weekends your long workout days we can make this work. He told me it was important for our son to see  his mom succeed at something she is working so hard toward and that he did not want me to give that up. It was an important part of the family dynamic and we would make it work. He also told me how much time and energy you already put into it and we have less than 5 months to race day. We got this. I was really ready to give it all up but he talked me out of it.
 

This was so good to hear. I know it is hard and every last minute I have will be dedicated to my family. It is a lot but I know I have a great support team behind me. I am going to be the best mom and triathlete I can be. I guess life happens, and there is never a good time for things. You just have to have to want it and make it work and that is what I am going to do. Knowing that my son and husband always come first.